What’s mine is mine and what’s yours is mine as well


There are some individuals in the world who have no respect for other people’s possessions.   I have two problems with this kind of attitude.  Firstly, they assume that they can borrow/take without asking.  I often find that possessions go missing from my room or the fridge (chocolate mainly).  Searching my mind/house/refrigerator for clues as to what happened to the absent items without success I decide that I’m going senile.  After expressing my concerns about memory loss at such a young age, someone invariably pips up – oh yes I took those as I thought you weren’t using them.  Is this what happens when one becomes a couple?  Is it a cultural thing and I’m way to British?  Or is it, and this is what I believe, dammed disrespectful   A further insult is when the borrower has expressed they’ve no wish to contribute to items purchased then take/eats them on the quiet.

My second bug bear is when the borrower is careless with other people’s possessions, does some damage and doesn’t offer to replace them.  I washed a boyfriend’s coat once (big mistake to begin with) and he had an ipod in the pocket – not only did he get a replacement but it was a better one than he had.  When the situation was reversed and he put one of my best Tee shirts in with his work clothes and some bleach causing it serious damage. He didn’t offer to replace it.  
Ironically, this type of person is invariably cagey about lending their stuff, will always bang on about being careful and demand a replacement if it is damaged.

Let me give you an example of borrowing without asking and you judge if I’m overreacting.  I left a suitcase in the family house in Samos.  It contained clothes, underwear, towels, make up, a computer printer carefully wrapped and placed to ensure it did not get damaged and other personal possessions that are suitable for a long stay.  As other people visit the house on a regular basis I put a padlock on the case and placed it out of the way.  Some family visited the house the following year.  A while after their visit, one member,  who shall be nameless, informed me that my suitcase was in her garage if I wanted to take it home.  Giving me no time to respond she then went on to tell me that her partner’s luggage had been damaged on their trip.  Seeing my case she decided to repack my possessions in his crappy broken case and let him use mine instead.  I was stunned, and asked her how she’d managed to do that when I’d used a padlock.  According to the story there wasn’t one.   A vanishing trick had obviously taken place as I still had the keys to the allegedly nonexistent padlock.  When we eventually returned to the island I sought out my possessions.  They’d been thrown into a cloth suitcase, my nice towels had joined the communal cruddy ones that all comers use and were ruined, the printer was broken, my clothes were damp and smelt of mould and my toiletries has been placed in the bathroom cabinet – a free, for all.  I still shudder when I think of my partner’s close elderly female relative rummaging through my underwear.   What really annoys me is that she had access to a phone so she could have called me and asked.  Or there are shops close by so he could have bought a new case.   My partner thinks I’m overreacting – but then it’s his……..family.  I don’t, I think it’s an invasion of privacy and a bloody cheek.    What do you think?

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