The Dating Game
One of my friends, who was desperate to be in a relationship but met few women socially, came up with a plan. He did the maths and figured that statistically if he asked 100 girls out he would get 99 blow outs and 1 acceptance. Of course asking that many women could take months and would be a long drawn out process, especially as his circle of friends was quite insular. So he came up with another light bulb switching on moment – ask every woman of marriageable age that he encountered out. This included women at work, strangers in the street, women in the pubs we frequented and friends of friends. Basically anything in a skirt between the ages of 18 – 35. He wasn’t fussy as long as he reached the magic number of 100.
Terry’s previous ‘pulling the birds’ plan had not gone well. He had decided to get cool and act mysterious in the hope that the chicks would be intrigued and want to get to know him a little better. Unfortunately adopting a swagger, wearing a hat backwards and talking in truncated sentences did not a rapper make. If any woman was remotely interested enough to call him they were put off by the words “TJ speaks” being spoken down the phone in come hither tones. If their reaction was anything like mine they would laugh like a hyena and think he was an idiot – which he was. Of course, beneath the tomfoolery there was a really nice guy – he just played to the crowd a little too well. Terry changed tactics because his version of hip wasn’t impressing anyone and he was sick of his friends taking the piss out of him, thus cruely depriving us of a major source of entertainment. As it turned out the new harebrained scheme provided us with a lot more fun. ‘TJ’ went to extreme lengths to achieve 99 crash and burns for the one date. He received some spectacular knock backs, including a black eye from an un-amused boyfriend, in his quest to find a soul mate.
One day, TJ, who was being given a lift in a friend’s car, suddenly shouted for him to stop. His mate hit the brakes thinking that they were in imminent danger of an accident. The car screeched to a standstill.
“What, What?” shouted our friend
“Women, women” TJ shouted back, shot out of the car and started running down the road in pursuit of three 3 females sashaying into the distance.
“Well, was it worth it” my friend asked as TJ returned and got back into the vehicle.
“Nah crashed and burned again” he said philosophically “but that’s” he thought for a while “45 to go. Or is it 48? Come to think of it maybe it was 50”. Another pause “Ah shit I’ve forgotten”.
After losing count on numerous occasions, generally during a drinking session (we estimated the final total to be about 200 nays and no yays) TJ gave the whole idea away. Instead he devoted all his attention to capturing the heart of a member of our group, who he’d had a not so secret crush on. He did this by applying the same logic as plan 2 except that he asked her out 100 times. It worked, worn down by his persistence she eventually caved – well that’s what she says. I think his ability to entertain was a key factor in her finally saying yes.