New Year’s Resolutions – How to break them and become a better person.


The time has come again to think about New Year’s Resolutions.  Since I’ve failed miserably to ever keep up any of the ones I have made each year I thought that this time I’d try a bit of reverse psychology and see if this works any better.

Resolution One.

Eat as much chocolate  as is humanly possible

Resolution Two

Blow as much money as possible so I have no way of saving house/holiday/car that I can’t afford anyway.

Resolution Three  

Over-indulge, eat, drink and don’t bother to count the calories.

Resolution Four

Be mean, unkind, selfish and unforgiving to all mankind.

Resolution Five

Don’t bother to try to get past the first fret of the guitar when trying to teach oneself to play.

Resolution Six

Try to beat everyone at any competitive game then tell them it’s the winning that counts and not the taking part.

Resolution Seven

Take all the responsiblity for remembering and buying gifts for the boyfriend’s family and not feel pissed off that he assumes I will do it.

Resolution Eight

Mutter under breath, shoot dirty glances and have no sympathy for parents of screaming, spittle laden, red faced children that are disturbing my day.

Resolution Nine

Do not join a gym, get fit and toned and under no circumstances develop a six pack

Now if I break these ones I should be a slimmer, fitter, pleasanter, richer person who may be able to summon up a riff or two on the guitar that she’s been trying to play for the last 10 years.

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