Bath Salts are Evil
Call me naive but when I saw this headline yesterday and the subsequent stories on television I really thought that someone had discovered that it was possible to get high on an old fashioned remedy for relaxing the muscles in a tub full of water. After all people sniff glue and petrol so why not bath salts. It would certainly explain the dreamy expression on my mother’s face after she had her daily soak in the bath!
Visions of my various family members cutting up the salts with a sharp implement to reduce it to a powder in order to snort it swam around my head – my Grandparents and various aging Aunts and Uncles also loved their bath salts – if only they had known what was causing that feel good factor! It certainly gave me a sense of satisfaction to think that my fine, upstanding and often disapproving relatives had no idea that they were under the influence. And it adds a whole new meaning to the use of bubble bath – no wonder my sister giggled a lot when I blew back frothy bubbles at her!
My mind, being what it is, wondered how this particular addiction was discovered. Did someone notice that there were an extrodinarily large amount of wrinkled waterlogged people walking around? Did bath salt sales suddenly unaccountably rocket? Were people having to be talked out of the bathroom? Could one detect small amounts of mauve powder smudged around the nose or inhale a lavender scent or essence of violets as the suspect walked past?
Eager to know more I googled and found out that it was just the new speak for the latest nasty drug mixture on the market. The bath salts of my parents era were innocent and that dreamy expression on my Mother’s face could only be put down to the fact that for one hour a day she could shut the door on her demanding family and relax in peace.
Well I have to say that I’m feeling a little light headed from all this heavy, deep thinking…………..in fact I think I’m about to swoon ……………. could someone pass the smelling salts please!