My friend the label Queen

Designer fashion branding has never been of much interest to me for a couple of reasons a) because I don’t have the income and b) there is no way I am spending that much money to become a walking advertisement for corporates.  Whoever came up with the idea of people handing over large amounts to wear clothes/shoes/handbags etc that have the name of the company emblazoned on bums, chests, arms, bags, belts and  jewellery was a genius.   As much as I admire the strategy, the only way Gucci, Chanel, Karl Largerfield, Boss, Fred Perry and all the other designers that are using people as walking billboards for free are going to get me to wear any  accessory or design with a label on the outside  is to pay me.  After all I don’t even like wearing my name when I’m on conference so why the hell would I want to wear someone elses?   While I’m waiting for the offers to roll in, I’ll continue to frequent small upcoming designers, superstores, chain stores and charity shops that put their labels on the inside.

However, I have a friend who is the biggest label queen ever.  She turns her nose up at K Marts, Big W, supersavers and would never never ever set foot in a charity shop.  Her eye is unfailing in its ability to spot a designer label at a hundred paces, her fashion knowledge is admirable but her inability to hide her horror as we show off our second-hand bargains is hilarious.  Recently I had to purchase a new pair of glasses and tried on the whole shop’s stock of frames before finally settling on a pair that almost suited me.    On the first day of wearing them I wandered into the room where my friend was sitting.

“Nice glasses” she said ” they’re Ray Bans aren’t they?”

“Are they?” I replied not having the faintest idea.  I whipped them off and sure enough on the side arms in small writing was the logo.  “So they are” I said in surprise “I just bought them because I liked them”.  The woman has the sight of an eagle and to have missed that piece of information I must have the sight of a myopic mole.

But she’s not infallible – two nights ago we went out.

“Nice shoes” she said

“$12.50 from Savers” I replied – her looked said it all but she tried again

“I really like your earrings”

“$1.50 from my local charity shop” I replied.  I was starting to enjoy this conversation and was now desperate for her to comment on my Mary Quantesque dress from the market.   However, the girl may be a designer snob but she knows when to quit.   Unfortunately, for her I now know how to wind her up!

She threw in the towel and moved on to talk to someone else.